Procrastination pie: A lesson in avoiding the really hard work

Little Bird. My most recently completed painting, from September 2014.

I got angry at my son yesterday.

He was supposed to be practicing piano, but he was crying and upset because the piece was difficult. This was not the first time he has experienced this level of frustration with working through something hard. We've tried to coach him through the difficulty, explaining that when something is hard, you just have to work harder. Hardness is not a reflection on intelligence or value; it simply means that something is difficult and requires more work.

I tried going that route first. I told him to take a deep breath and try to slowly work through the lines note by note. Calmly, persistently. He responded with more frustration and tears. I tried again. And then I'm ashamed to say I totally lost it. I yelled. I told him he needed to pull himself together and get over being so emotional about struggling. It went on from there. It wasn't pretty, and I didn't feel good about it afterward.

Thinking about the incident while doing dishes later, I recognized my hypocrisy. I had spent much of an unexpected snow day avoiding my own hard things. Instead of painting or writing or even working on a project for a client, I cooked and cleaned and ran 4 miles and folded laundry, frittering away precious time on easy things. Not easy in terms of the amount of work required, I was exhausted when the day was over, but easy in terms of emotional, mental, and creative effort. Like my son, I constantly struggle with and get anxious about doing certain kinds of work; the difference is that I am a lot better at hiding it from myself and others by doing prodigious amounts of other stuff.

I try to tell myself that being creative is not supposed to be that hard, that I shouldn't get frustrated, that I should take a breath and slowly and persistently push through the difficulty, and perhaps that I should even relax and enjoy it, but the truth is every time I start putting paint to canvas or trying to write a story is a moment of stress, anxiety, and fear. And even when it goes well (which is actually pretty frequent), the terror returns and remains because the next addition of color, the next creative choice could screw it all to hell. I tell myself I shouldn't care. It should be about the process, not the product, but at heart I don't believe that. I tell myself that if I really loved to paint as much as I think I do, it should be easy to get up and do it. But it's not. Just because you love something doesn't make it easy. So painting starts sit for months and sometimes years before I finish them because mustering the courage to push them through the next step is so hard and requires so much emotional energy. (For example, I started Little Bird, the painting at the beginning of this post, five or six years ago and only finally got around to finishing it last September.)

Starting this year, I plan to do better. (I also plan to be more understanding toward my boy.) I've figured out ways to trick myself into running even when it's cold or hot as hell, I'm sore and tired, and I really don't feel like it. Surely I can trick myself into painting and writing more?

In the meantime, while I was avoiding the hard work, I made this shepherd's pie, which turned out to be a huge hit. Inspired by my friend Jeff, who made a shepherd's pie using cauliflower mash instead of mashed potatoes a few weeks ago, I decided to try replacing some of the mashed potatoes with cauliflower. The cauliflower adds a nice, light sweetness to the mash, but is a bit more watery than potatoes are. I may try replacing the potatoes with cauliflower altogether sometime soon, but if/when I do, I will probably need at least two heads of cauliflower and less half and half. I also used a combination of ground beef and loose pork sausage, but you can use any combination you like. And even though I made this meal in part to avoid work, don't be fooled: It's a somewhat time- and labor-intensive recipe, so don't plan to make it on a weeknight. (Unless you have a snow day.)

Shepherd's pie, ingredients

• 1 large head cauliflower, broken into florets
• 6 medium yellow potatoes (use any potatoes you like; I just like yellows better)
• 1/4 cup half and half
• 1 Tbsp butter
• 2 Tbsp olive oil
• 1 lb ground beef
• 1 lb loose pork sausage
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 2-3 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 14 oz. can of diced tomatoes, fire roasted is nice but not necessary
• 2 Tbsp tomato paste
• 2 cups water
• 1/4 cup ketchup
• 1 tsp Dijon mustard
• smoked paprika, salt, and pepper to taste
• bread crumbs (optional)

Instructions

1. Peel the potatoes and boil them in salted water until tender, about 30 minutes.
2. Steam the cauliflower until tender, about 15-20 minutes depending on your steamer (test the cauliflower with a fork).
3. Using a ricer (which will make your life easier, I promise), rice the cauliflower and the potatoes into a bowl. Add the half and half and butter and some salt and pepper and stir together until you have a nice even(ish) mash. Taste the mash to make sure you've added enough salt and pepper. Set the mashed potato-cauliflower mixture aside.
4. In a large saute pan, heat the olive oil. Toss in a sliver of onion to test the heat. When it sizzles, add the rest of the onion and cook it for about two minutes. Then add the sausage and the ground beef. 
5. Cook the meat and onions until the meat is no longer pink. If the meat has some brown bits, bonus! Drain most of the fat from the pan. 
6. Add the garlic to the pan and let it cook for about a minute (do NOT let it burn). 
7. Add the tomatoes, water, tomato paste, ketchup, mustard, and perhaps a teaspoon of salt and half a teaspoon of pepper and smoked paprika to the meat in the pan. Stir everything together. Over medium-high heat, let the mixture cook down to a loose mass (the pan should contain some liquid, but the mixture should not be watery). Taste the mixture and add salt and pepper until you like it.
8. Next, assemble the pie. Pour the meat mixture into a large, oven-safe baking dish (mine is about 13 in. by 9 in.). Shake the dish gently to make sure the meat is somewhat evenly distributed. Then place big spoonfuls of the potato-cauliflower mash over the meat mixture and using the back of a spoon spread it out somewhat evenly. (It's a "rustic" dish; it doesn't have to look perfect.) If you want, spread some bread crumbs or Panko over top of the mashed potatoes. (At this point, you can set aside the pie for a few days and bake it another day.)
9. Bake the pie for 50-55 minutes in a 450-degree (F) oven. Eat. Enjoy. Try to do the hard things.      

Pasta with sausage and cherry tomatoes: A quick back-to-school dinner for #SundaySupper

Just a few days ago, it seemed, long months of summer stretched out before me. And now I find myself a week from the first day of school, preparing to shift into the high gear of fall, planning meals, schedules, days. How does time get away like that?

This week, Sunday Supper is about fast and easy back-to-school meals to help you get a tasty meal on the table fast. I've made one of my favorite go-to dishes: pasta with sausage and cherry tomatoes, which takes advantage of the tomato bounty that's still to be found at the farmers market. But the nice thing about this dish is how incredibly easy it is to vary, using what's in season and at the height of flavor and nutrition. I've provided a few suggestions for variations at the end of the recipe. And don't forget to check out what else is cooking for Sunday Supper this week. This group of bloggers has really served up a bounty of recipes that should help you (and me) get a delicious dinner on the table fast.

   

Ingredients

• 1 lb pork sausage (sweet or hot Italian-style as you prefer, casings removed)
• 1 lb dried pasta (I used rombi in this recipe, but most shapes will do fine)
• 1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved
• 1-2 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 cup half and half or heavy cream (+ more as needed)
• 1 packed cup grated Parmigiano Reggiano
• 1 tsp dried thyme
• 1/4 tsp ground white pepper
• 1 pinch red pepper flakes (optional)

Instructions

1. Start a large pot of water to boil for the pasta. When it comes to a rolling boil, cook the pasta according to package instructions and drain.
2. While the water starts to boil and the pasta cooks, start cooking the sausage in a wide, deep pan over medium heat (to render out some of the fat), breaking it up into crumbles as it cooks. (If you use turkey sausage, add some oil to the pan before cooking so that it doesn't dry out.) Cook the sausage until fully cooked and nicely browned. Keep the sausage warm on low heat until you've got about 5 minutes left of pasta cooking time. 
3. Raise the heat of the pan with the sausage to medium high. Add the crushed garlic to the pan and cook for a minute, stirring frequently. Don't let it burn; burnt garlic is awful.  
4. Add the tomatoes to the pan. Let them cook for about a minute. 
5. Add the cheese and the half and half or cream to the pan. Cook until the sauce thickens enough to coat the back of a spoon, about 1-2 minutes. (Add more half and half or cream if the sauce seems too scanty.)
6. Season the sauce with thyme, white pepper, and red pepper flakes if using. 
7. Drain the pasta and add it to the pan with the sausage, tomatoes, and sauce. Mix in the pasta and let it soak in the sauce for about a minute or two. Taste it to make sure the seasoning is to your liking. Serve and enjoy.   

Variations

• When the sausage is cooked, add thinly sliced half-moons of two leeks to the pan and let them soften before adding the tomatoes. 
• Add a sliced bell pepper at about the same time you add the tomatoes.   
• Add a cup of frozen peas about a minute before you add the garlic.  
• Instead of using tomatoes, add bite size pieces of broccoli or cauliflower early in the cook time. 
• Replace the tomatoes with sliced leeks and sugar snap peas. 
• Add a cup of steamed, cubed butternut squash and a handful of pepitas after cooking the sauce. 

The Sunday Supper Lineup

Here's the whole lineup of quick back-to-school meals from the Sunday Supper group. Don't forget to tune into the chat on Twitter at 7 EST using the hashtag #SundaySupper

• Greek Dogs by Supper For a Steal
• Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad by Magnolia Days
• Double Duty Fajita Chicken: Nachos Supreme and Enchiladas by Doggie at the Dinner Table 
• Zucchini, Corn and Bacon Crepes by  Vintage Kitchen
• Oregon Shrimp Quesadillas by Pescetarian Journal 
• Korean omelet rice by Crispy Bits & Burnt Ends
• Lemon Dillled Salmon Croquette Burgers by Granny’s Down Home Southern Cooking
• Gluten Free Pepper Steak with Rice by  No One Likes Crumbley Cookies
• Crispy Ravioli in Cherry Tomato Sauce by Shockingly Delicious
• BLT Soup by Meal Planning Magic
• Korean Pan-Fried Fish by Kimchi Mom
• Stove top mac ‘n cheese by Gotta Get Baked
• Deconstructed Enchiladas by In the Kitchen with KP
• Croque Monsieurs  by Juanita’s Cocina
• Summer Squash and Mushroom Quesadillas by Chocolate Moosey
• Seared Lamb on a bed of Mashed potatoes with Artichoke Hearts by Cooking Underwriter 
• Pasta with Creamy Kale Pesto by Webicurean 
• Baked Spanish Tortilla by Happy Baking Days
• Grilled Chicken Caesar Pizza by In the Kitchen with Audrey
• Chicken Pasta with Spinach and Beans by The Lemon Bowl
• Tomato Pie by My Catholic Kitchen
• Shredded Chicken in Peanut Sauce Tacos w/ Corn & Zucchini Sauté by GirliChef
• Tomatillo Chicken Stew by Small Wallet, Big Appetite
• Pollo a la Crema by La Cocina de Leslie
• Baked Tilapia Fish Tacos by Home Cooking Memories
• Grilled Lemon Pepper Chicken with a Yogurt Dill sauce and a Greek Salad by Noshing with the Nolands
• Wagon Wheel Pasta with Pancetta & Peas by Chelsea’s Culinary Indulgence
• Lemon & Dill Shrimp Pasta w/ Oven Roast Corn by Mama, Mommy, Mom
• Ricotta – Tofu Tomato Toasts by Yummy Smells
• One Pot Spicy Asian Chicken and Rice by Hezzi D
• Turkey Italian Brown Rice Casserole by Momma’s Meals
• Flatbread Pizza with Cilantro Garlic Sauce by Mom’s Test Kitchen
• Cashew Chicken Stir-fry by Diabetic Foodie
• Chicken Bacon Avocado Quesadillas by Dinners, Dishes and Desserts
• Roasted Butternut Lo Mein by The Meltaways
• Potluck Casserole with Cornbread Stuffing by Cindy’s Recipes & Writings
• Jerk Chicken Chili by Mrs. Mama Hen
• Loaded Chicken and Steak Stuffed Potatoes by Big Bears Wife
• Steamed Tofu Serve with Fried Mix Vegetables by My Trials in the Kitchen
• Pasta with sausage and cherry tomatoes by Tora’s Real Food
• Chicken Ravioli with Peas and Bacon by Daddy Knows Less
• Quick N Easy Thai Coconut Shrimp Stir Fry by Sue’s Nutrition Buzz
• Whole Wheat Pizza with Hummus & Fresh Greens by Family Spice
• Speedy ‘n Spicy Shrimp Pasta. Will be dinner this Friday by The Weekend Gourmet
• End of Summer Grilled Peach and Chicken Salad by Sustainable Dad
• Teriyaki Tuna Bowl by Family Foodie
• Weeknight Stir Fry by From Fast Food to Fresh Food
• Baked Egg with Mushrooms and Bacon by Pippi’s in the Kitchen Again
• Taco Bake by Daily Dish Recipes
• Fried Rice and Black Beans by Mama’s Blissful Bites
• Chicken with Broccoli, Sun-dried Tomatoes and Bow Ties by That Skinny Chick Can Bake
• Pasta in Tomato sauce and turkey meatballs by Basic & Delicious
• Pasta Primavera by Midlife Road Trip
• Tots Your Tots Will Love by The Hand that Rocks the Ladle

A simple breakfast: Sausage-gravy and biscuits

Sometimes you don't think to write about the simple things. The food you can cook (almost literally) in your sleep. The stuff that's as simple as making lemonade or, well, boiling water.

Sausage-gravy and biscuits is one of those things. A simple Saturday or Sunday breakfast dish that's so easy it feels goofy to write about it. But maybe you don't know it. I didn't when I first moved in with my husband Mike 20 years ago. He introduced to me to this classic Southern breakfast back then. At first I didn't know what to think of it, but then I fell for its simple, warm savoriness. It's a great way to start a weekend.

Biscuits
OK, so the biscuits I make are a variation on a scones recipe from Bonniers Stora Kokbok, my trusty Swedish cookbook that is falling into pieces (that cross-country motorcycle trip in the rain about 10 years ago did the book no favors, but that's another story). The thing to know about biscuits (and most quick breads) is that you don't want to work the dough much, because the final product will get tough. Just barely mix the dough together, shape it, and pop it in the oven.

Pre-heat the oven to 485 degrees Fahrenheit.

You'll need

• 50 grams unsalted butter
• 450 ml flour (I use a mix of AP and whole wheat)
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 200 ml buttermilk (if you don't have any, never fear, you can use milk or cream or half and half instead)

Mix your dry ingredients together in a bowl (flour, baking powder, and salt). Add the butter. With your hands (or you could use a fork, but I like getting my hands in there), start breaking the butter up into the flour mixture. Keep working the butter and flour with your fingers until the mixture feels like sand.

Add the buttermilk (or whatever liquid you end up using) and just mix it into the flour-butter mixture. Don't worry about it being a little crumbly.

Split the dough into two halves. Roll each half into a ball and then flatten it out into a disk on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. The disk should be about six inches in diameter. With a butter knife, score each disk into four quarters (don't cut all the way through). Then poke the disks all over with a fork and slide the baking sheet into the oven. Bake for about 11 minutes or until the tops are golden brown. Eat them hot with sausage-gravy, or with butter, or with jam.

Sausage-gravy
Because the taste of the gravy almost exclusively comes from the sausage, make sure that you use good-quality sausage. We get our wonderful sausage from Haskins Family Farm. I am especially fond of using their sage sausage for this recipe. Note that I use loose sausage, instead of links or patties. I just prefer the way it breaks up in the gravy. You can use links or patties, but the flavor just doesn't distribute throughout the gravy as evenly. (Also, use pork sausage. Chicken or turkey sausage won't have enough fat to make the gravy thicken.)

• 1 lb pork sausage (preferably loose, or you can remove the casings)
• 2 Tbsp all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• salt and pepper
• thyme

Add the sausage to a cold pan and bring up the temperature slowly to render out as much of the pork fat as possible. Continue cooking the sausage until it browns nicely all over and is cooked through.

Add the flour to the pan and stir it in. Let the flour cook a bit with the sausage. Let the flour darken as much as you have patience for (the darker, the more flavorful), but don't let it burn.

Add the milk to the pan. Scrape the browned bits off the bottom of the pan. Stir the gravy regularly until it thickens. Add salt and pepper to taste (remember there's salt in the sausage, so start with a pinch and work your way up). Add half a teaspoon of dried thyme (or use any other spice or herb that you like; this gravy is easy to make your own).

Serve the gravy over the biscuits. Enjoy. Then feel sleepy, have another cup of coffee, and read the Sunday paper.